| Auswahl | |
| Begrüßung | |
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| Galerie | |
 | Sonstiges |
| Sonstiges | |
| Übersicht | |
| Humor |
| Gästebuch | |
| Über diese Seiten | |
| Witze | |
| Witzliste | |
 | Intel Outside |
| Got Milk? | |
| Coders | |
| God a coder? | |
| Murphys Laws | |
INTEL OUTSIDE
The proud owners of an Amiga are not only pretty pretentious but they also have a good sense of humor... Let's hope that the PC-owners have a good sense of humor too... Here comes some good old-fashioned DOS&Pentium bashing...like it needs any ;)
- 50MHz 486 + Microsoft Windows = 4.77MHz 8088.
- DOS 6: Because there aren't enough problems in the world already.
- DOS Viruscan initated - Windows found: Delete? (Y/y)
- I only shoot IBM's to put them out of their misery.
- If at first you don't succeed, call it Windows NT.
- If Speed scares you, use Windows!
- OS/2 warp = Half an Operating System, wich you can throw out?!
- Redundant book title: "Windows For Dummies"
- The best way to accelerate a PC is at -9.8 m/s^2 (hint: gravity?!)
- The magic of Windows - turn a 486-50 into a 4MHz XT...
- Virus "WIN.COM" found. Remove? (Y/y):
- Windows Error #56:Operator fell asleep while waiting.
- Windows is a colorful clown suit for DOS.
- Windows isn't a virus -- viruses do something!
- The devil is using Windows. Still wanna go to hell?
- Windows NT. Nice Try or Not There?
- Windows is kewl, it's just missin' a panic button.
- The sad thing about Windows bashing is it's all true.
- November election results may be due to the Intel Pentium bug :)
TOP TEN SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM
| 9.9999973251 | It's a flaw, Damnit not a Bug |
| 8.9999163362 | It's Close enough, We say So |
| 7.9999414610 | Nearly 300 Correct opcodes |
| 6.9999831538 | You don't need to know what's Inside |
| 5.9999835137 | Redefining the PC - and Mathematics as well |
| 4.9999999021 | We fixed it, Really |
| 3.9998245917 | Division Considered Harmful |
| 2.9991523619 | Why do you think they call it *FLOATING POINT*? |
| 1.9999910351 | We're looking for a Few Good Flaws |
| 0.9999999998 | The Errata inside |
FAQ
| Q: |
According to Intel, The Pentium conforms to the IEEE standards
754 and 854 for floating point arithmetic.
If you fly in an aircraft designed using a Pentium, what is the correct pronunciation of "IEEE"? |
| A: | Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee! |
Complete the following word analogy:
Add is to Substract as Multiply is to:
- DIVIDE
- ROUND
- RANDOM
- On a Pentium, all of the above
| Q: | What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums? |
| A: | The Warning Label. |
| Q: | Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586? |
| A: | Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605. |
| Q: | What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant? |
| A: | A Mad Scientist. |
| Q: | How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb? |
| A: | 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people. |
| Q: | Did you hear about the new "Morning After" pill being developped as a replacement for RU-486??? |
| A: | It's called RU-PENTIUM. It causes the embryo to not divide correctly. |
That's I'm afraid...
I am looking forward to seeing some creative and funny minds get to
work for the next issue and give us some nice Amiga bashing
jokes... ;)
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Inhalt und Design von Florian Evers, florian-evers@gmx.de